Online dating and HIV
I am completely naïve about these things, but are there any Malawian online dating sites? Please let me know. If anyone asked me about online dating eight years ago, I would have said it is for desperate people—people who aren’t looking for real relationships but just a good time and frankly those who, well, just suck at the game of life. But ask me now and I will tell you that the other day my girlfriends and I set up a profile for a friend.
The world is changing and online dating is part of that change. Online dating cuts through all that unnecessary small talk, those awkward blind dates your friends set up, that earnest but wishful thinking that maybe today you will meet that someone! I have friends who are married and have kids who met online. So, yes I am supportive, but what has this got to do with HIV?
I can’t quite recall but I don’t remember the dating site asking us for details like HIV status. It may ask about health and well-being, but it would contravene confidentiality and privacy if it asked that question and it could potentially open them up to lawsuits. But the idea of HIV and online dating raises a whole lot of questions.
The way online sites now work is they find matches for you based on the preferences you put in that also align with the information that you provided about yourself. The questions they ask speak to your personality, your likes, dislikes, etc. Some of the questions can be quite soul-searching like how does your family see you a) stranger b) supportive and caring c) difficult to deal with d) what family? Based on a series of multiple choice questions, a computer algorithm recommends matches for you. Now if there was match that came up that’s perfect for you but in their profile, they state that they are living with HIV, would you get in touch with them? How about online dating sites that are only for people with HIV—yes they exist—so you don’t have to worry about the moment of revealing your status to your partner? Technology can either hinder or encourage progress. Online dating definitely a progress in today’s changing world! But having said that, not everyone has successful encounters online and nor is for everyone—it is but one tool in the dating toolbox that works for some and not for others. n
